Planning an unusual secret wedding? Here are 5 helpful tips to be sure everything goes wonderful and smooth on the big day guests will be surprised to attend.
In 2020 when COVID pandemic reaps havoc on wedding plans, many are choosing to get married in secret, following steps of Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi. “If Royal Family is okay with not attending the wedding, then probably I can plan the same affair for me” may the future brides think. And we totally support them.
Choosing to leave such a significant milestone only for the couple is becoming more and more popular. If you are the type of person who can not book a date months in advance and are feeling overwhelmed by just thinking about throwing a wedding “met gala” then this article is for you.
So, what is the deal with secret weddings?
One side of the story is to get secretly married just the two of you and be sure to inform your closest before they will read the news on social media. Prepare for people’s hearts to be broken and promise them to celebrate tying the knot when big gatherings will be allowed.
The second option is to plan a secret wedding for guests. We mean, throwing a secret wedding and actually invite guests to a celebration without mentioning the actual occasion. This seems to be quite a challenge, agree? Because how can you talk friends to fly from overseas for a regular party?
The secret celebration is opted to be 3-6 months from the engagement. This is the ideal timeframe, an engagement party is a perfect reason and the surprise won’t be spilt.
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We have talked with our dear friend of Milla Nova Sharon about the secret wedding she and her husband Ted planned last year.
“ That was quite an affair. It was hard to come up with the idea of why it is so important that everyone would gather for the end of summer barbecue. But we were very calm and relieved while planning. We did not miss having to talk about the wedding all the time with everyone or me for choosing the dress alone. It was really the feeling of inner peace when we were excluded from talks about planning. With a surprise moment, no one had any expectations from the evening. Even such a thing as the cake was seen as “ OMG they even have a cake”.
When taking this risky but extremely adventurous path of hiding the planning of day X from friends and family, there are some things to pay attention to.
Choose the venue carefully ( would be suspicious to invite guests to church). If all is a surprise, you can not invite people to the ceremony in the cathedral. Look at the place where any kind of event can be held, some park, local cafe or your own backyard.
When you combine wedding planning with another celebration, you will save a lot of energy and definitely some sum of money. Need occasion ideas to throw a celebration? Those can be an anniversary, milestone birthday party or engagement celebration. We think that the last one is the most ideal choice and we wrote above why.
Also, put a dress code into the invite. Your guests will like looking beautiful and wedding-festive on your wedding pictures.
Aware planners and venue workers about all the concept so that they don’t spoil the surprise. Besides some few certain people you will tell your plans to, the 150 people who will arrive at your end-of-summer barbecue, don’t need to know.
If you won’t be able to congratulate everyone when they arrive. Put a secret camera to film everyone’s reaction when they see a “ This is our wedding day actually!” sign. Those will be some real good memories to save, right? Or imagine meeting your guests in a casual summer outfit. In half an hour your garden actually appears to be the altar path. You better want to capture the faces of your guests when you and your fiancé are walking in wedding attire.
Decided to reveal the secret to everyone on the entrance to the party? Remind guests not to post anything on social media to not spoil the surprise for people who are still on their way.
Another big question is how to ensure your guests will actually come. You know the personalities of your guests and you would know how to create the wording to make them attend the event.
There is a very low possibility that people will fly overseas for a birthday party. When having this situation, tell people that the wedding itself will be a very small private affair and this party is the real day of the celebration. On the invites reference that everyone has to be there on time for the special guest. You can include a hand-written note with the invitation expressing how much guests presence would mean to you and your partner.
If the worst seems to come and no hints work, you might let those three persons know under strict instructions not to tell anyone.
As romantic as it sounds, there are some pitfalls of such idea.
It will be really hard to keep everything from best friends. They might feel hurt or disappointed for not sharing preparation for your special day. You might feel upset about not sharing some struggle whether you should go for the veil or not. Your maid of honour will not know what important role is prepared for her. You loose on fittings with friends and on a bridal shower. The envelopes will contain smaller checks. If people planned to go to the barbecue there will be no envelopes at all.
“I and my husband have not spent a second for any regrets. The energy which appeared in the air after people heard that it was our wedding, lasted all celebration and lasted with us for many days. People were sending their gifts later. And this felt like our small affair which we could enjoy privately just enough before everyone else became part of it as well.” says Sharon.
Some other perks of planning a secret wedding are that couples actually do enjoy planning the day X. “ You don’t need to talk about the wedding endlessly. No one’s parent is interfering with you. It was actually me and my partner only in the planning process. This day has not consumed us fully and in the end, we only benefited from it.”
We really believe that people’s reactions and all the emotions and energy are the great payoffs for missing on some other details. This way you don’t overanalyse wedding day and enjoy the unique way in which you decided to tie the knot.
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